Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
