SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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