this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
