Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
