Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
