We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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