College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
