did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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