I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
