Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
