Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
