I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
