I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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