I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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