Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
