You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
