I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
