I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
