New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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