He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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