so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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