Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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