no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
