It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
