I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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