i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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