He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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