On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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