whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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