Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
