Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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