how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
