I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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