Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
