please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
