I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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