You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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