you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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