Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I skipped work to stalk him.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
