Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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