R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
