Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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