I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
