i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
