last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
