I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
