I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
