She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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