Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
