Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
