What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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