Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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