omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
