Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
