I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
